Understanding women

“I don’t hang out with girls because they’re dramatic bitches. I prefer to hang out with guys”. Recognize that sentence? I do… that was the way I felt for many year when I was a girl. Girls could be so harsh, mean and jealous towards each other. While boys encouraged teamwork, girls saw trouble when playing more than two person at a time. Always leaving somebody out. Bickering, criticizing and talking behind each others backs. I never understood that :( So it just made it simpler for me to hang out with the boys. Climb trees and doing other exciting mischief. Over the years I have thought a lot about that. Wondering if maybe there is an unrealistic role and expectations set for girls. Instead of teaching them to work as a group to lift up and help each other. Women tend to have the need to look down on others of the same gender, while boys are taught to be strong, independent and self-confident.

I read somewhere: “Don’t try to understand women; women understand women, and they hate each other.” And honestly, I think the mentality and hatred for other females might come from within. It’s easy to hate one another if you are not content with yourself, I guess. I often hear chicks talk about others. Saying things like “Who does she think she is?” Negativity, judgemental, put-down mentality, criticizing, undermining, undercutting each other.. you name it! Thinly veiled jealousy when seeing other women stepping up an claiming a level of entitlement they can only dream of. An entitlement they either don’t know how to, or don’t feel entitled to claim for themselves. The uncomfortable truth is that some women still feel equivocal about other women’s success. Kicking away the latter rather than offer a hand to aspire. Instead of standing united, being positive and strengthen each other. I thought we were nurturing by nature. But I’ve noticed lots of times that’s not the case at all.

Anyway this does not apply to everyone of course. Just a general perception. But loving ourselves and loving each other is a very good thing. Be kind and generous and spread good vibes and energy. Support, help and encourage each other. And when you do find friends and colleagues who are supportive and understand you and have your best interest in mind – Hold on to them <3

tallee-signI had the pleasure of working with two lovely, beautiful, warm-hearted ladies last week, Sylvia Jansson and Maarit Psajd, while doing a photo shoot with them. I will show photos from that session in a few weeks. Sylvia has a new blog and she talks about this same topic. I’m humbled by the nice words she wrote about me. You can read it here >>>, but it is in Swedish folks ;)

Underworld-alt3

7 Responses to “Understanding women”

  1. Captain TeaCup The Third Says:

    Thank you very much for your post. Ive struggled with women all my life. You and one other are the only women I feel comfortable with. With all the women i have endeavoured to form a friendship with, i have met only rehearsed false smiles, and they speak cruelly to me, using sly remarks and picking out what was never there just to be spiteful.
    I always thought something was wrong with me, never being able to make friends with women. My intentions have always been kind, genuine and innocent, but they always find something to justify their desire to be spiteful, deceitful and try dominate me.
    I crave intellectual conversation and companionship in the arts, but I cant seem to form either without it becoming a personal nasty jab towards me. So many times women i thought as friends used their intellect to sprout insults in a flowery way or smile at me then flame my name when my back is turned. The deepest scars of betrayal I have are from women I trusted wholly to then witness them try destroy me in the cruellest of ways.
    I prefer men too, but then women become malicious there, saying im a whore and if the male friend gets a girlfriend, im out of the picture, for being a threat.
    OR the man may eventually try cross boundaries with me and agendas rise to the surface, having only engaged in my friendship in hope for points for something devious.
    Thanks so much for your blog. I dont feel so alone now. You are a real gem Tallee, thank you for being a genuine friend.

  2. Exactly. I can sign to every word actually. And I still prefer hanging out with guys – during my life I can really count like-minded, positive and uncomplicated girls that didn’t fall off by the fingers of one hand. I’m always positive to everyone and consider them good unless they prove otherwise, still it’s only from girls that I got a whole share of backstabbing, lies and slander. So some really have a whole deal to learn from the guys!

  3. Stefania Says:

    I share your point of view Tallee and feel sorry because I believe that most of the general misunderstanding among women is due to the will to “appear” so that men can “approve” them!! If men don’t notice you and don’t like you, a lot of women feel frustrated… And this turns into more frustration towards other women! I say instead “Who cares if they like us or not???” I am what I am with men and women!! Personally I know some men, especially in the job environment, who backstabbed too!! I also hate competition! I know society demands competition every day but I’m not interested at all if that means pushing the limits farther and farther only to make people see that I might be better than anyone else… Better doing one’s best on every occasion and leave jealousy, mean behaviors, and the will to “appear” behind…

  4. Vet inte om jag är en “pojkflicka” eller “skulle blivit en kille eg”…Men jag lekte hellre med brorsan och hans kompisar som liten (bortsett från en tjej, min bästa barndomskompis Rita, men vi var ju lika på det där vi 2, så det funkade kanon… vi är fortfarande nära vänner:))…i tonåren umgicks jag mest med killar i “killgäng” i Helsingfors, gjorde oftast “killgrejor” mm…samt att jag faktiskt har alltid haft lättare att umgås med killar. Vilket gör att jag känner verkligen igen mig i ämnet som min fina vän & grymmaste fotografen, denna vackra starka kvinnan Tallee Savage skriver om…
    Och tjejer (och killar oxå för den delen;))…bli inspirerade och peppade av andras lyckande istället för att hålla på att trycka ner varandra!!! Vill se mer respekt och kärlek!!!
    Säger som den vackra Anita Ekberg har sagt om just kärlek…”Jag gillar tre saker: kärlek, kärlek och kärlek.” <3

  5. There are many diverse and odd reasons for women behaving mean to other women – jealously is one of the most common reason and can sadly destroy both the holder and the receiver. Throughout my teenage years and actually even today, I have issues with this type of problem. And I have found myself to actually become better at eliminating those kinds of destructive so called friendships. Since my strength, sometimes my looks, my drive and my general passion about life seems to be a threat to some women, I dont have many women friends. I used to try soooo damn hard to be accepted and better threaten by these women, but all they gave me was pain. So fuck that! Nowadays my patience is at a zero-level and I only hang out with women where we mutually make each other feel good about our selfs. Anything other than that is just plain dumb! From the moment I met you Tallee I felt that rare kindness that I sadly dont come across often. Same with Maarit. I intend to treasure that!

  6. It would be safe to say that I’m just killing the crap with kindness over here. Jealousy drives this ugly wheel most of the time, learned from jealous women or just born that way. My own mother was a stunning woman, she looked like Elizabeth Taylor yet she was definitely haunted by these demons, always threatened by other women. I didn’t spend much time with her as a child, raised mostly by my dad and stewardesses that watched over me while we traveled with Pan Am, the airline my dad worked for. It was these women that mostly shaped my perception as they had to work as a team, they were the backbone of flight and supported each other. I never saw this behavior amongst them.
    As I grew up it became apparent that I would be haunted by other women’s demons, getting caught in the middle quite a few times and it puzzled me and hurt my feelings. I had a lot to offer and so did they but this line of communication was broken so no one benefited. I was sad sometimes. I ran a science program at my daughter’s school and once again I was faced with these problems. Some of the mothers couldn’t see past my Ugg boots and board shorts, ha ha ha and belittled my program even when it was clear I was a valuable resource to their kids. Still I am mostly oblivious to this behavior, like tra la la as I fetched kids from class to blow up man made volcanoes, some of the teachers loved me and said I was a breath of fresh air, these women felt like did, funny for sure, I learned some stuff from them and a couple of them showed up at school with Ugg boots too, they thought I was cute, now that’s more like it, I said.
    As an adult I came to realize that it was always worth a shot to reach out to other women, and have them reach out to me, all of us have different knowledge of things and we can all be so well rounded. All it takes is a little kindness an open heart and receptive thinking and you’re on your way. I would say things like,”Wow her hair is pretty” or ” she is really good at juggling her schedule” and think nothing else about it. That, my friends is true appreciation of other women, unbiased and happy that other women are happy too.
    Tallee, you know things about beauty and hair that I don’t and your procrastination blog, I took to heart and changed some things, super stoked you are in my life. You go out there and do that thing you do so well and you are so beautiful and you are part of the reason I had the balls to get my sexy based weather network off the ground like I always wanted to. Sure I get some disapproving eyes but I do it anyway like you do, hell yes, dig it!

  7. Your blog is very cool!!!! A fan from France!

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